Wedding talk pt 2

(Note: normally I don't talk about this on the blog, but my financial needs have gone up due to rising insurance rates in the US. If you feel led to increase support, start supporting me financially, or direct a friend my way, you can find more information on my support page: http://abbysturner.blogspot.com/p/support-info.html. Thanks!)

Besides lots of cooking every day and making flower necklaces for the big events, weddings mean a lot of discussions and a lot of dancing. The former creates stress, the latter relieves it.

From an outsider’s perspective, every wedding is the same. It’s not like you have to rehearse all the motions and figure out where everyone will stand. But here are a few details that have to be figured out:

- Who will dress the bride and do her hair and henna?

- How will everyone who helps out be fed?

- How much food do you send to the groom?

- Who’s going to dance right behind the bride and who will go to the wedding separately?

- What container will you provide for wedding guests to put the money in?

- What if it rains?

- What if people forget what day the wedding is?

- What about the music? What if it’s too quiet?

- What about chairs, will there be enough?

- And gift bags, are there enough?

And on and on. In this case, the bride’s mother has lived on another island for many years, so instead of helping take the work load off the bride, she was increasing the work load. Another women (actually from the groom’s side of the family) was the mistress of ceremonies at the bride’s house. Oh, and here on Clove Island, the bride isn’t supposed to leave the house during the days before the wedding, and her house has very bad cell reception. So from her rooms she had to constantly send out messengers and wait for word on what was happening.

But at every event there’s some sort of dancing that relieves some of the stress.

And at every event people want pictures with the bride.

Or just with the white person.

On the last day, when the big event was for all the women, some of the bride’s family started taking matters into their own hands, making decisions and doing things without checking with the bride. And… fighting ensued. “Never in my life have I seen people acting this way at a wedding!” declared the “mistress of ceremonies.” The family alternated between berating the poor bride and then telling her not to cry.

Dancing!

Meanwhile I was there, trying not to get in the way and to help however I could.

But after all the decisions were made and we confirmed that the wedding event had indeed started, we took some time for the bride to calm down… and danced the night away.

What better way to welcome in the New Year than dancing with friends, taking pictures, and celebrating a wedding?