Talking with strangers

The other day I was chatting with a friend (hey Nancy!) and we ended up on the topic of making friends with immigrant neighbors. Now, for some of you, that might come easily. But for others it's difficult and hard to even know where to start.

What if I say something stupid and they get offended? What if they don't want me to be nosy? What if... what if...?

But maybe we just don't know where to start? After "hello" what do you say?

Well I decided to write down some starting points for connecting with internationals:

1. Ask them about their background. Don't assume that you already know about them because of what their face looks like. Ask for their story.
2. Assuming their mother tongue is not English, ask them about what animals say in their native language. You may laugh, but animals speak differently too.
3. Learn from them about their culture.
4. Ask their perspective on things happening around you-- and don't be surprised when they have a different perspective than you do. They're bringing different experiences to the table.
5. Share a holiday with them or find a milestone to celebrate together. I remember the islander family who invited me over for New Year's Eve. I found out afterwards that they didn't usually do a lot to celebrate, but he remembered from his days of studying abroad, and how meaningful it was for him to be invited to share a holiday with some local people. So he passed on the favor.

Hospitality makes a difference, and it's not just the hospitality of bringing people into your own home. It has to do with the heart-- are you willing to deal with a little discomfort in order to make someone else feel a little more at home?