Greatest common denominator

The other day I was on a phone call with a few people.  For two of us, the first language was English. For two of us, the first language was from Clove Island. So what language did we end up speaking together?

French.

Why did we end up communicating in French? Because, although three of us were fluent in English, one of us was not, and so for the sake of group communication we needed to function in a language in which none of us were native speakers.

Yesterday, when we started the call, the person who doesn't speak English was late to join. So we started out in English. It being the mother tongue for two of us, and comfortable for the third, we were able to use English and have everyone at ease. But as soon as the fourth person joined the call we automatically switched languages.

Why do that? Because language is a way of communicating hospitality and community. To put it another way, what are we communicating when we use a language in which only half the group is proficient? Or what do we communicate when those who are fluent in a language choose to use a language that everyone has to work at speaking, for the sake of struggling together instead of only some being at ease?

Living in a place where multiple languages are spoken, we get used to this language blending/switching. But maybe there are other places we interact where language is used to include belongers or exclude outsiders. I'm not even talking about English, French, Spanish, or otherwise, but specific terminology, inside jokes, or other ways we speak which choose our audience.

Can we be more aware, and more hospitable, in the way we speak?