All about Babies

Having a new baby is, I'm sure, an adjustment for everyone. Even if you've raised many babies, there's something different about it being your own. Some people love getting advice on taking care of their baby, others would rather you zip it, shut it, and mind your own business. 

If you do want to get advice, just have a baby in the islands. They have certain things that they've learned about how to raise babies, and there's not too much variation from person to person. So when they see someone going against general knowledge, they're quick to tell you the right way. 

So, for your edification, here's some things you should know, especially as a foolish American raising their baby in the islands:

Fans: are to be avoided. Baby's ears and airways are sensitive, don't you know. The baby will get sick, they'll get asthma, they'll be in pain. Oh, and the same goes for taking them out on a windy day. It may be warm as anything out, but the wind is still harmful.

Shoes, socks, hats: are a necessity for going out of the house. Whether it's because people will touch your child (they will), because their ears need protection (see above), whether it's sunny and they need some portable shade, or just because they need to be fully dressed when on the move. You must put all those items on your child, no matter the weather. 

Black bands or forehead smudges: especially if your child goes out at night, be sure to put a black band on their wrist or ankle or a big black smudge on their forehead. That will protect them from evil spirits that wander around and prey on vulnerable children. Especially beware of walking past graveyards for this reason. 

Eyebrows: if your child doesn't have good dark eyebrows, they might get decorated without a by-your-leave. Eyebrows are beautiful, and especially young girls really should have some good dark ones.

Earrings: how will people know it's a girl if she doesn't have her ears pierced? My child may be in a dress, pink from hair bow to sparkly shoes, but without pierced ears we can't really be sure she's a girl-child. 

Food: some people will exclusively breastfeed for 6 months, but most people I encounter admit that they started feeding their baby some sort of food early on. Tastes of bread, porridge, fruits, rice... just a little bit of meat... they feel bad watching my baby eye the food going past her to my mouth and really want to give her just a taste. 

What else? Oh, there's plenty. We can talk about sleep advice, breastfeeding advice, sitting, standing, walking, bouncing, hair treatment, nose cleaning... the list goes on. As I said, if you want to be on the receiving end of large doses of advice and socially-acceptable bullying, have a baby in the islands.