Watch the Walk

 Consider this situation: you've known your mother for all your life. You know her sense of humor, the things she often says, the places and people she loves. You know her appearance-- her height and hair, eyes and skin.  But then one day a stranger comes to you and says, "Let me describe your mother to you", and proceeds to describe someone who, while bearing a passing resemblance to your mother, is in reality nothing like her. "See," they say, "I know your mother! I've just told you all about her! In fact, I really love her!"  Do you agree with them? Or do you answer that they have no idea what they're talking about?  This was the illustration that I found myself giving a random man in a shop last week, as he tried to tell me that he and his people knew and loved my Savior. It's a line I often hear: "We know J. Everything about him is contained in our book! We love him too, just like all the others." But how can they say that th...

How do you recognize a generous person? A friend of mine here was recently describing a business contact of his who is wildly successful. He dropped out of school in 2nd or 3rd grade, but everything he does is successful. He's building a large addition to his house and has plans in the works for what to do after that project is finished. "What's the secret to his success?" I asked.  "He's always giving to others," my friend said, and then he quoted an island proverb: "The hand that gives is always on top" Can you recognize a generous person? A generous person doesn't have a particular way of dressing, they don't carry a sign to advertise their generosity. They might tell others about their generosity, but some of the most generous people don't talk about it at all. In fact, if you aren't a person in need, you might never know of a person's generosity, because it's only apparent to those who receive from them. Perhap...

  Let me ask you a question: if you heard of a new couple getting married, where would you expect them to live? Would the man move in with the woman's family? The woman move in with the man's family? Or perhaps you'd expect them to move into their own place.  What about the town they live in? Would they live in the same town as her family? The same town as his family? A new town, based on their work? The other day my English class was discussing living situations, and who each of them lives with. Traditionally on Clove Island, the woman's family is responsible for providing the new couple with a home. If possible, they provide a piece of land and build a new house, but sometimes the home that's provided is a new story on the family residence, or even simply a private room in a shared house.  Of course, there are exceptions. There are men who build a house, or families who live in a residence that the man's family owns and allows the new couple to live in. But t...

English students Imagine you want to learn French. What's your first step? Maybe Google. Google, "how to learn French" and you can find an endless wealth of resources. But what if Google doesn't have much, if any information for the language you want to learn? There are a few items online, but the information is inconsistent, a mixture of 4 languages, and you don't know how to make sense of the grammar, even if you can learn some vocabulary. This was the situation that another foreigner found herself in here. And when she asked her local contacts about how to learn the language, they directed her towards my NGO, because we're known for learning the language and having resources in the local language. And that was how I found myself sitting across the table from her, showing her dictionaries and grammars, giving language learning tips and encouraging her beginner attempts at figuring out how to communicate. So, how do we learn the language? It's been a few ...

  A pen is the international travel equivalent of the Hitchhiker's Guide saying to always have a towel. I mean, having a towel is great, but a pen is even more important. You never know when you'll need to write something down, and opening random pockets in your bags, struggling to locate a pen is just... not ideal. But beyond that, here are a few tips I've acquired in my years of traveling internationally, especially in Africa. 1) Always verify verbally, with a person, what you see with your eyes. If it says "Paris" above the gate, walk up to the person at the gate and ask, "Where's this gate going?"  2) Avoid yes or no questions, because you might get an accidental yes. Don't ask, "Is this going to Paris?" because they might just say yes. Did they hear you properly? Did they understand you? Who knows. Ask a question that requires an answer that demonstrates understanding and accuracy. 3) When in doubt, find other people traveling on y...

Our friend was bringing food to a new mother who was recovering in the hospital after a c-section.  The new mother happened to be an illegal, from another country, under guard by the gendarmerie. Our friend was from the same country, but here legally. Upon trying to enter the room, our friend found it locked. She asked the guards what happened to the new mother in the room. "Oh, you know her?" And suddenly she found herself under arrest. The guards hadn't known that the woman escaped. Or so they say. And obviously someone who would bring food to a new foreign mother must have been complicit in her escape. So our friend was arrested. Questioned. Kept overnight. The next day, after intervention, she was released, but forced to pay a fine. 200 euros for what? For being at the wrong place, at the wrong time, without the right people to plead her cause. "That's just the way it is for people from that country who live here." Was a comment I heard from another frie...

 In the previous installment, we talked about those with mental illness who are distanced from acceptable society. But there's a contingent of people on this island who aren't mentally ill, but still aren't accepted by their families or welcome to participate normally in island functions. This contingent consists of those who have broken relationships with their family for some reason.  There was a man whose death awhile back caused quite the stir in town. Why? Because he died alone, and was dead long enough before being discovered that his body had started to decompose. In island culture, this is abhorrent. The man had children -- why weren't they making sure he had food? He had siblings -- why weren't they checking on him? The broken relationship with his family seemed more a topic of conversation than his actual death or its cause. Then there's a woman who came to our island to give birth. She seemed pretty young, but said her husband was on the island that ...